I am a master of ignoring my own feelings. More than a master -- I have a PhD in this. I learned from the best: everyone else. After all, haven’t we all been told, since we could talk, what are the right feelings to feel? (“Don’t cry! Back when I was a kid…”)
So I am always fine, until I’m not and breaking down into tears. My tears express everything: anger, disappointment, excitement. And even when they come, I still convince myself that I am not angry, disappointed, or excited.
I started “Obnoxious Feelings” as a part of my 100 Days Challenge (originally “#100DaysofDeflection) to educate myself on my own feelings. Every day I did an exercise called a “deflection,” where I created one picture. Each was about a small act of looking inside an emotional triggers (internal and external) I would usually, and unconsciously, turn away from. Now it’s growing into something bigger.
After a month and change, something strange started happening. People began leaving me “thank you” notes: “I feel like I am not alone. I feel a bit happier, that there is nothing wrong with me. It’s just being a human”.
Now it’s way past the 100th day, but I decided to keep going. To keep staying in those obnoxious feelings, and make some peace with them. “Obnoxious Feelings” is art that celebrates imperfect us.
#obnoxiousfeelings #100daysofdeflection #daysofdeflection